Idiocy Award: Cashier Debate

As I’ve written before, people treat customer service workers like trash. Entitled jerks spend every day chipping away at the self-esteem of every person who is required, as a job description, to take all of their hatred with a smile. Cashiers are on the receiving end of everything from rage filled rants to political grandstanding. My heart goes out to these men and women who wake up every day and face an onslaught of stupidity with a smile, even if it is a fake one. However, much like angry feminist who reverses years gender equality progress by making everyone hate her guts, there is occasionally a person in customer service who makes me want to reach over the counter and strangle them to death.

This weeks Idiocy Award goes to one of those people, a cashier who will be known to me as the founding member of Target’s Debate Team.

There is an old saying in customer service, “The customer is always right.” Though I concede that it is not true 100% of the time, it is always best to give each customer the benefit of the doubt and, most importantly, let them be right if they are wrong when it is over something that will have no lasting permanent effect on your job, your store and your life in general.

A few days ago, I decided to make Alfredo sauce for my wife (I have a family recipe that is to die for) and realized I was out of milk. As people do in these situations, I walked to our local target (it’s the only store within walking distance), picked out milk and a few snacks (cheese its I believe) and proceeded to the check out counter. This, as I’m sure you’ve assumed by now, is when I met her.

Everything was pretty normal, right up until she began to bag my three items. She put my milk in one bag, then the two snacks in the other. Being that I walk with a cane (as you may already know if you read regularly), I asked if she could consolidate the items so that I only have to carry one bag. Here is how that conversation went:

Me: “Can you put those in one bag?”

Her: “No.” *continues bagging items*

Me: “Why not?”

Her: “Because the milk is cold and cold items cannot be bagged with dry items”

Me: “Oh, I don’t mind. I’m just walking down the street.”

Her: “Sir, I said I can’t.”

Me: “Well, can I do it for you?”

Her: “No, you can’t. Do I need to get a manager?”

For those who have seen Anger Management, this scene played out just like the airplane scene, except I didn’t get tazed. I was asking a reasonable question in a reasonable way and she shut me down immediately, acting like I had slapped her in the face or called her baby ugly. I’m pretty sure she was about two seconds from punching me in the face if I dared suggest she condense my three items to one bag again.

So, congratulations, Target Debate Lady. You’ve made me lose just a little bit more faith in humanity.

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